Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Ethics? Moral?

There's a saying in Chinese, direct translation means "it's easy to give birth, difficult to raise a child". I hope readers will take this literally. It's not meant for those who can't have their own baby under whichever circumstances, it simply means, labor is easier than bringing up a child.

Taking care of our children, doesn't just mean providing shelter, food, love and care, but also teaching them manners and social skills so they can.. survive?

It is the last part that is really difficult.

In no particular orders and not limited to these, I would like to share some points:

#1 You'll have to teach them to say "thank you" and "please", it felt like you've reminded them 10,000 times a day, YET they need reminder again and again.. again and again..

#2 You teach them to say "excuse me" when they burp or fart, maybe X 5,000 (coz it's generally lesser occurrence?).

#3 You have to teach them to share their toys, when friends come to your place, making a mental note to ask them to keep toys that they do not wish to share before their friends arrived.

#4 You have to teach them not to snatch what they want, but instead ask properly, which goes back to point #1 above. (With this point, will have to teach them that they have to live with disappointment. They can ask, but they cannot expect to get what they ask or want all the time.)

#5 You have to teach them to share their food (read chocolates) with people around them before eating them themselves.

#6 You have to teach them to greet elderly at home good morning, good night, and meal time.

#7 You have to teach them to greet elderly at home that they are leaving the house or reaching home.

#8 Just last night I added onto this list, to offer the best to others and take the worst. (In last night's case it was potato chips. My son chose the smallest chip for his dad, while took the biggest for himself.)

When the going gets tough and you thought you'll never see the end of the tunnel, here's what I would tell you, KEEP GOING!

At 3 yo, which seemed eternity, and after you repeated like more than a million times of "what's the magic word?", I finally can see some fruits.

I've seen IZ said "thank you Uncle / Aunty XXX", thanking and referring to names when he was given something.

I've heard IZ said "excuse me", when he silently farted. (Next step is probably to teach him not to say sorry if the fart is not audible.. haha!)

I've seen IZ greeting people by their names.

I've seen IZ greeting elderly at home automatically in the morning and when he leaves for school.

I've seen IZ generously offered snacks to his peers.

I've seen when IZ offered to apply medicine for me when I had pain.

I've heard IZ asked the daddy "how was your work, daddy? good?"

I've heard IZ asked for toys that he want (but couldn't hide his disappointment when he was rejected, that he always goes near to tears.. this is something we are still working on..)

All's well for now. The lernen-reise doesn't end here, it's a long long way to go, I'm glad we are on the right path.

For now, I'm really enjoying the morning ritual of IZ's "enjoy your day, daddy mommy!" when we leave for work. It truly make my day, everyday.


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