Tuesday, 28 June 2016

The lack of dreams..

It has been 8 days since my MIL passed on in the hospital.

2-3 days before she left us, I dreamt of her, touching one of my SILs, hubby and I, sitting upright and asked us in a very clear voice, to take good care of ourselves. It was a total opposite of her physical state at that point of time, as she couldn't sit up right nor talk clearly then.

Ah Nah dreamt of her the very same night.

Then she left us on Mon, 20th Jun'16 close to 5am.

Ah Nah dreamt of her at 3am, that MIL called out to her.

I've not dreamt of her since. Neither did anyone else in the family. I'm very disappointed, sad, upset and depressed that she has not been coming to visit at all, be it spiritually or in my dream.

I cried for she didn't return on the 7th day like what some said, last visit to the home. I thought she was really attached to the house and IZ, she should be coming home. So we prepared dishes, left them on the dining table, and went to bed early. There was no sign of her at all.

Yesterday, while having breakfast, IZ said "mom, I had a good dream last night".

Me: oh? you had a good dream?
IZ: ya, I dream of Ah Ma. I called "AH MA!" and she opened her eyes to look at me! Isn't that a good dream!
Me: ya! that's a good dream!

I felt that dream was a closure for me at least. That she did appear to her beloved grandson, the one she was worried about the most.

I choose to believe now that she is happy in new place, reunited with her hubby, free from all the pain and suffering.

It's still painful to think of our happy days, and days we spent in the hospital. Our hearts ache terribly everyday. Tears dropped without any warning. We are mourning in the open.

We missed her very much..

One of my favorite pictures of them