Thursday, 22 August 2013

Walking down memory lane..

If you'll notice, or maybe not, I seldom talk about IZ's weaknesses or "bad stuffs". I reflected upon it, and I think it's because of his G6PD deficiency. Not that I think it is a GREAT deal that he should be forgiven even if he's made mistakes. It is quite a BIG deal for me. He got the deficiency from me, as I am a carrier, and I didn't know till after I gave birth!

I remember the pain of not having him by my side after I was discharged from the hospital after my caesarian. He was in mild jaundice condition, so he was not allowed to go home with me. Imagine the pain, going home after labour, WITHOUT a baby. I was pretty strong (emotionally) the first 2 days, I was pumping diligently so that hubby could send expressed breast milk to the hospital, so the nurses could feed IZ with that instead of formula milk.

(I was only trying my best, and I did breastfeed him for 8 months, even if you give your child formula milk, I do not think you are any less good mother, so don't take it too hard if you're one of the mommies who can't give breast milk to your baby.)

As day passed by, I felt the pain of not having me by my side. I think on the 4th morning when the paeditrician called to update me, I broke down. IZ was not in serious condition, he had only very mild jaundice, but as the index didn't decrease, and he is a G6PD deficient, they had to monitor him, in case the jaundice level shot up.

The next day, he was discharged, but we still had to sun him. WHATEVER, I'd do WHATEVER to keep him by my side.

And.. because of all that.. I've never grumbled although I had to wake up a gazillion times for midnight feeds and pumping. I've never complained about a single thing about him. And so, it actually continues till now.

I do sometimes share about his mischiefs, but generally I'm more happy to share with you about his positive stuffs.

He's a kind hearted soul, who would cry when he saw other children cry. He's very sentimental and emotional, JUST LIKE ME! Gosh! He's a boy.. I know..

And then when I took up Play Therapy, all the more I know how I want him to be. To be mentally happy, psychologically happy, not just HAPPY.

Last week, I felt like I was losing it. I was not in the best of my moods. But he was not co-operative at all. He was all cranky, cried over trivial things like us closing his book instead of leaving it at the page he wanted to see, the page where Cinderella and the prince danced! He also whined at the slightest thing. He woke up middle of the night crying inconsolably.

And I wasn't feeling good enough to cope with that "disaster". I claimed either the Terrible Twos came late, or the Terrible Threes came early. I really couldn't take it. But I remember what I learnt.

So I detached myself from all the social commitments and spent time with him, doing what he likes to do.

That night, when he was falling asleep, I played the serenity song again. Had not played it for a long time. He didn't cry that night.

And so the next few nights.

I guess my nightmare is over for now.. till the next phase.

I still can't figure what went wrong last week, but I'm sure he would be able to tell me what's wrong in the future.

The last 2 nights, he has been drawing while he told stories, back to his old self. I'm still having problem with self-feeding, but that issue would come later.

And oh, by the way, yesterday was the first day he went to school without diaper! He made it without accidents! Thankful the teacher was very supportive. Hopefully it'll continue this way.. fingers crossed..


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