Monday, 4 February 2013

THE TROUBLE WITH ALEX: A CHILD TOO DAMAGED TO LOVE BY MELANIE ALLEN


I finished reading this book within a day. Considering the book is about 300 pages and more, I must have ignored many aspects to be able to complete it.
The book is about a couple with a son adopting Alex whose birth mother was not capable of taking care of her properly due to excessive drugs and alcohol.
The book made me cry, made me sick, made me anxious as the story unfold, I couldn’t help but wanting the story to finish so I know what was exactly wrong with Alex, if any.
Personally believe Melanie was not ready to be an adopter, especially as she learnt Alex has learning difficulty or even suspected her of faking her difficulties. But sometimes, by the way Melanie described about Alex and her character, I couldn’t help to think Alex may be faking it too.
Melanie is not physically nor mentally prepared for the adoption. She was very honest in her book, on how she was not interested in learning about Alex’s development in school, brushing off anybody who has kind intention to help. She was always negative about Alex, wanting Alex to be part of them instead of the other way round.
Not just Melanie and Alex were the victim of the circumstances, but Rob and Daniel (Melanie’s son) too. Melanie and Rob went on separation, and Daniel is definitely affected in one way or another.
This book reminds me of my anticipation towards my son. At times, I think he was pretending, pretending to be “ignorant”. My take is, he is far too brilliant to be ignorant, but my mother-in-law always says “he is just 2 years old”. I always challenge her back; he is sometimes too smart for a 2 year old, you think he is that ignorant?
There are many parties involved in the adoption, which happened in UK, and I’m actually glad there are therapists, social services, hospitals, families to help these “disturbed” children.
For the first time in my years of reading, I found this book incomplete. Is that all? Is that what happened to Alex? Continuously being disturbed, at times brilliant, at times disturbed, at times violent, at times aggressive as she is too damaged to love? Is there nothing we can do to help her?
It is really sad..
Note: please consider properly and take on as many assessments possible if you choose to adopt children with special needs, they are not called “special needs children” out of fun.

Lesson D for Dog: 3rd Feb'13

He was happy when I said we'll do ABC lesson. And he sat on his chair waited for me.

After we sang the greeting song, I took out the D feely, and he said "Issac trace". Wow! He did it without me prompting.

D feely
Then we listened to the rhyme, and again, he couldn't wait for the song to finish. I have to surrender that listening (without pictures) is not his "thing".

And we proceeded with the miserable D items I've prepared. He get the hang of it, when I said "you can only take out one, no seeing, no peeping!"

Playing drum sticks happily

No peeping and that's what he did.. haha!
Then we did the colouring of the dog, he said "doggie".

Colouring

Concentrating.. for a minute..

End result as he refused to colour anymore
 Somehow I knew he could colour well if he wants to. He has been shading on his magnetic draw board and says "colour colour colour", and he shaded them WITHIN lines.

I tried to find some video on YouTube on children colouring to motivate him further, but to no avail.

Past Lessons:
You can also follow IZ's Lernen-Reise on Facebook for more personal and up-to-date learning fun!

Lesson D for Duck: 31st Jan'13

As usual we started with greeting song, and I had 101% from him for the minute.

Then we traced the feely for D and listened to the rhyme of D. He still not able to sit through the rhyme.

Tracing feely
But he was once again excited to take the D items out the treasure bag. It was disappointing though, as I couldn't get actual things to represent D except for the piece of diaper. Haha, brilliant right? He was really happy when he pulled out the diaper, and said "diaper" but subsequent items, in flashcards.. he showed no expression.. :-( I was disappointed in myself too, but I really couldn't produce any better than this! D sucks..

My miserable D items

He had fun playing with the drum sticks

I have to admit this art & craft is not the best I've done. I didn't explain.. ya, again! I should have explained and told him what to do. Instead, I say, let's glue and pat and gave him the glue stick. And so he attacked the beak first. Mental note for n-th time, REMEMBER TO EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT IS EXPECTED!

He went first, for the beak.. I told him there's no feather on the beak..

Putting feather on the head

Ta-ra!
Past Lessons:
You can also follow IZ's Lernen-Reise on Facebook for more personal and up-to-date learning fun!

Random talk

At 26 months:

Trying to teach him how to cross the road..

Mommy: look to your right

IZ looked to his right

Mommy: see if there's any car.. No car, we can cross..

IZ: yes car there (pointing to one of the cars parked at the side of the road)

Mommy: ...

Daddy: see if there's any car COMING TOWARDS you..

Just another reminder on how I shall speak properly to the toddler..

***


Friday, 1 February 2013

Random Talk

At 25 month, going 26 months in few days:

Play Doctor
I was lying on the floor claiming backache. He touched his lower back for a while, and came running to me with his magnetic board pen, climbed onto me, and tried to force my mouth open “open the mouth” and “shine” the pen into my mouth as if he was holding a torchlight.
Brilliant moment!
***
Woke up in the morning, while preparing to go to school:
IZ: I want go market
Mommy: go market to buy what?
IZ: I want go market buy banana
Reflection: I have mixed feeling for this one. Well, I’m glad to certain extent that he doesn’t mind going to the market. Wet markets in SG are decently clean and not exactly WET. For someone who hated “wet-marketing”, I could say I really did well in this department that is raising him not fearing wet markets. I’ve successfully bringing up a “kampong boy” in the city.
The mixed feeling came when he repeated that he wants to go to market this morning, and Ah Nah (our helper) told him: why market, something is wrong, you should say I want go shopping, not market. Everyone else go shopping, you go market.
Duhz!
***
Night routine via Candy Saga:
I would be playing Candy Saga on the iPad and he would climb onto me, blocking my view.
Mommy: go away IZ
IZ: I want iPad
Mommy: no, go away IZ
IZ: I want watch Humpty Dumpty
Mommy: no (brushing and pulling him off the device so I could continue playing)
IZ: play together mommy
And he would try to help me with Candy Saga, calling out “mommy blue one” “mommy orange one”.
Reflection: I was really impressed the first time he said “play together”. I didn’t know he knows the concept of play together.

Thursday, 31 January 2013

Therapeutic Play.. for children in need.

Many may be aware of what Play Therapy is, some may have heard but do not know much, some may have not heard about Play Therapy before.
So, what exactly is Play Therapy and who can benefit from it? – Please read the article below.
From: http://www.singaporeartscienceprize.edu.sg/main/index.php/groups/29-kid-do-stuff/166-play-therapy-child

Helping a Child Through Play Therapy
By JANE FRAMINGHAM, PH.D.


Adults often think of child’s play as mere fun and games, or a way to fill time. Actually, imaginative and creative play assists a child’s cognitive growth and emotional adjustment. Through play, a child develops self-confidence, a positive self-image and learns to express feelings, make decisions and cope with real-life situations. As such, play can be therapeutic, helping a child deal with and overcome problems that inhibit his normal development.

How does play therapy work?
Play therapy offers a child a safe place to play out-rather than talk out-his thoughts, feelings and problems. The therapist chooses toys that encourage “fantasy play,” such as clay, sand, water, drawing materials and puppets, as well as toys that enable a child to act out real-life scenarios. The therapist builds a warm and supportive relationship with the child, thereby encouraging the child to open up through the symbolic language of play.

During a therapy session, few limits are set and the child is given complete freedom to control his play and actions. In such a protective, yet empowering environment, the child generally leads the therapist to the source of his emotional disturbance through his activity and behavior. The therapist uses developmentally appropriate techniques to help the child let go of negative or restricting feelings and develop coping mechanisms to use in real life.

Who can benefit from play therapy?
All children go through stages or an occasional emotional “crisis.” But some children have serious problems, often caused by:

Neglect

Family violence
Divorce, separation or other changes in a family situation
Severe burns or disfigurement
Chronic illness
Deafness or other physical challenges
Grief
Hospitalization
Learning disabilities or other mental challenges
Often, a child needing help displays the following traits or behaviors:

Poor academic performance
Poor relationship with peers or siblings
Passivity, withdrawal
Bedwetting after toilet training
Reading problems
Social immaturity
Speech difficulties
Refusal to speak
Preoccupation with sex
Excessive worrying, anger, sadness or anxietyPhobias
Aggressive behavior or acting out
Knowing if a child needs professional help is not always easy. Ask your family physician or a mental health professional for guidance.


 

I’m currently a Therapeutic Play Trainee, looking for suitable case studies.
As such, I welcome any individuals if you have any referral or recommendation or if you need more information; please drop me an email at iz_mum@yahoo.com
.
I have listed herewith, what you'll be expecting.

What’s after initial contact?
I’ll need the referrer to fill in Referral Form and the teacher/parent/guardian/child (if he is older than 3.5 years old) to complete the SDQ questionnaire. This is to determine whether the child needs therapy and if I’m suitable to take on the case.

What’s next?
If concluded that the child’s case could be taken on, we’ll have to sign on a confidentiality agreement. This is necessary to protect you and your child from breach of confidentiality.
Then, we’ll work out a plan on where and when the therapy will be held.

How long is a session?
Elaboration on Play Therapy: 1) 45mins of therapeutic hour (the child will be exposed to all kind of play, eg. sandplay, storytelling, clay, puppets, arts, music etc)
2) the therapeutic hour is non-directive approach, led by child, the therapist follows
3) 1 case study usually take about 12 sessions depending on SDQ outcome (sometimes more)
4) 1 session per week

As a trainee, I can only take on 2 cases a week, thus, I appreciate your understanding if my schedule is full, I believe we can make some arrangement thenafter.

How do you know if it works?
After ¾ of the therapy journey, the same SDQ forms will be answered by teacher/parent/guardian/child. The result will be evidence.
Do note however, of the statistics:
¢  For all children referred 70% will show a positive change
¢  For those who are abnormal/at risk 76% will show a positive change
¢  For those who at considerable risk 82% will show a positive change
¢  For those at the extreme 88% will show a positive change
¢  So you could say ‘between 70% and 88% will show a positive change depending on the severity of the problems

How much do I charge?
I charge absolutely nothing for the therapy as a trainee. However, I do not have a therapy room, if you are not able to provide a room for therapy at the comfort of your own home, I would have to seek your understanding to absorb rental of a therapy room.
Rental of therapy room subjected to availability, the cost right now is $30 per session.

Is your room suitable?
 1.     A play room, or play space that is safe in terms of confidentiality, physical security and consistency.  This must be consistently available and kept clear of extraneous equipment or materials for the times of play therapy sessions.
2.      Absolute privacy during every play therapy session, with no interruptions, respected by every member of the family.

I look forward to embark on this meaningful journey to help children in need.

Monday, 28 January 2013

Puzzle Craze..

The very first puzzle IZ has gotten was from a gift exchange on Christmas Day in 2011, right after he turned 1 year old. A Melissa & Doug Farm Animals Peg Puzzle.

Got this from the Gift Exchange!

His fine motor skill was not so fine then.. and his hand-eye co-ordination was not well co-ordinated so to say.. Haha!
However, I think it was a great gift. It could not just aid him in developing his fine motor skills, hand-eye co-ordination, but I could also teach him about farm animals, and sometimes even counting.
From then on, I’ve never missed any chances to LOOK AT puzzles when there’s sales or whenever we passed by children’s toy department.
I remember Jann Phonics shared with us, that there’s no need to purchase expensive puzzles, the key is variety.
I’ve got the following in orders.. but sadly IZ was not the least interested in any of them. He was easily defeated once he was not able to place one properly, despite all the encouragement and try-together.

Got these for a few dollars in Giant



Bought these from some sale, but these are not genuine Melissa & Doug puzzles.. they delaminate easily! :-(
And I think the illustraion for each piece (underneath) was confusing for IZ



Good to learn about shapes



He couldn't do this at all, until after "life-changing" puzzle below, he could do these ranging from 5-9 pcs odd-shaped puzzles easily



As he was obsessed with clock, I bought these.. as you can see, the shapes are exacly the same, so, for someone who can't count yet, it was confusing. Now he could recognise the numbers, but he still can't understand this yet.



Bought these Kumon Step 1 puzzles, 2 sets each of 2 pcs, 3 pcs, 4 pcs and 6 pcs to start him with puzzles as I thought the above were all too difficult for him, but after the life-changing puzzle, this became too easy that I had to mix all of them together for him to "solve"!

Until the week I brought him to stay for a week with my parents while helper was away on home leave. I packed and sent the 28 pcs floor puzzles home before our arrival. Thank to my brother being the delivery man.
As my niece has not much toys, except for A LOT of SOFT TOYS and BARBIE DOLLS, I brought the puzzles out. Even when I knew IZ was the least interested.
Boy, was I wrong. With my niece doing it together, IZ found interest in that particular puzzle! He could play with it a few times a day and mastered it within a day. The next few days, while my niece got bored “NOT PUZZLES AGAIN”, IZ still worked on the puzzles diligently. I think that was the “life changing” puzzle!
So while we went shopping at Popular, I saw a box with 23 pcs of a Humpty Dumpty puzzle and a hardcover book. IZ went crazy seeing the Humpty Dumpty, so I bought and let him have a try.
This puzzle does not look like the conventional type puzzles with even sides. But IZ was really determined to play with it. Starting with the Humpty Dumpty’s face, slowly he made his way to his limbs and the wall. As he played, he sang “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall…”
Within 2 days, he managed to do it on his own.
And so the puzzles craze grow.

"Life-changing" puzzles


23pcs Humpty Dumpty Puzzle in odd shape

 

Bought these online, genuine Melissa & Dough, really different kind of quality


Obsession for clock continues.. the clock doesn't just teach about numbers, but time, colour as well as shapes


Bought these for S$2.90 each at neighbourhood shop


Saw this 35 pcs puzzle on promo, it may be difficult for him, but he likes being challenged


35pcs Carnival Puzzle


Bought this and another pattern for $2 from Daiso, not bad quality


Happy with new puzzle



Bought these from Qoo10, shipped from Korea



12 (was in progress in the previous pic), 16, 18, 24, 30 pcs Pororo Puzzles

A week after recovery..

What's a week after recovery? Still recovering..

Like snakes changing skin, so is IZ..

Initially we applied Papaw cream after he napped or fell asleep.. Then now I changed to applying Vaseline.

Looks like long way to go, but at least they look like they are not leaving scars..

I hope!









Added:
IZ & HFMD
End of One Week Quarantine
Adult gets HFMD too
IZ Back to School

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Lesson C for Cake: 26th Jan'13

We were  playing puzzles and all sort of things when he suddenly pointed to the letter A feely on the wall and insisted I take it down for him.
“I want take out” he said.
I asked him why, but he just repeated that he wanted to take it out. So I took it out and handed it to him. He brought the feely to his desk and then he ran to the study. He tried to open the door.
“Bag!”
“Mommy bag!” and banged on the door.
I was puzzled, didn’t know what he was referring to.
Impatiently, he went back to his desk, and pointed on the floor beside it, and said “Mommy bag put here!”
Then I got it.
He wanted to do lesson!
I asked if he wanted to do lesson, he said "YES!"
I was really happy coz he asked for it after just 5 lessons. And I was happier coz I am now more prepared than ever to do next lesson anytime.
And so we sang the greeting song, I had 100% of his attention, and he was especially excited when it was his turn to wave and say “hello mommy”.
Then I told him we are learning the letter C, and produced the feely I pasted with cotton. Again, I told him, C for Cotton. Suddenly he ran away to the pool of puzzles on the floor and said “cotton candy”.
I was really impressed he could “relate” the cotton I mentioned of the cotton wool on the feely and cotton candy on his puzzles.
He said COTTON CANDY

Relating cotton candy and the cotton on the feely
Then we listened to the rhyme of C. This time, he listened to me the second time, as I took out the crocodile and sang. He liked it when I moved the crocodile as if it was creeping towards him.
Then it was C items time! Excitedly he took out one by one. This time, I didn’t put in chocolate. He still couldn’t get capsicum or crane, but it doesn’t matter, he will be there.
Today, I find myself doing better in the C items, when I paused for him to play around with the items. He has wonderful ideas to play with them.
C items

Trying to put the cow on a car ride

Probably this would be a better way

Chi-Chak!

Yums!
And then we did the art & craft for cake.
Glue & Pat decoration paper & cotton wool

Setting up the candles

He counted 1-2-3 candles!

And we sang Happy Birthday To You

Our accomplishment thus far
Past Lessons:

You can also follow IZ's Lernen-Reise on Facebook for more personal and up-to-date learning fun

Friday, 25 January 2013

Power of NO!


The last few days, since IZ recovered from HFMD, he has been saying “NO” quite a great deal all the time.
I’m not sure if he suddenly discovered the POWER of the word “NO” or he suddenly discovered he is more vocal that he wants his voice to be heard, obviously more through his NOs…
Requests to him to bathe, brush his teeth, eat his meal, change his diaper, are all replied by a NO.
“NO IZ take bath!”
“NO IZ eat!”
“NO IZ change diaper!”
“NO IZ diaper full!”
“NO IZ brush teeth!”
And he refused to tell us when he needed to poop, and he rather poops squatting, into his diaper, and refused to wash his buttock too! Arrgghz!
While I would have smacked him if it happened few weeks ago, I didn’t.
I told myself not to let my hands react faster than my brain.
So what did I do?
I walked away when I find my patience is tested. It’s still difficult, as my patience is still as thick as a piece of paper, but I’m trying.. trying really hard.

Thursday, 24 January 2013

Lesson C for Crocodile: 23rd Jan'13

We are at letter C this week! Yippie! I’ve managed till B the last time I tried, I’m sure we’ll get this going, GAN BA TE NE!
Gretting song was a breeze, he looked into my eyes, waved and sang “hello mommy” when it was his turn. It’s so fun!
We started the lesson by tracing the feely.
IZ knows the letter C, so I told him C is for.. and he said CRO-CA-DAL! Oh, well done IZ, C is for CROCODILE. And C is for COTTON too, and let him feel the cotton on the letter.
Then we listened to the rhyme of C. As usual, for the past 4 lessons, he couldn’t sit till the second round of the song. Am thinking if I should just pause the CD after the first round. Hehehe..
He was again, very excited when we took out C items from the treasure bag. I had a full bag this time. And I like to watch the excitement. Hahaha!
Feely & C Items - see his hand reaching for the chocholate?!
(He knows all except capsicum and crane)
But I did a mistake, I shouldn’t have given him the piece of chocholate! He was too distracted eating it.. hmm.. all this because he didn’t eat proper dinner. Hubby warned me not to give snack right after dinner so that he’ll not skip dinner every night.
Eating chocholate hungrily

How a crab walk? Side way!
Art & Craft

Art & Craft

Eating again

Yums

Crocodile & the monkeys.. when I sang the song of Crocodile eating the Monkeys, he says, the monkeys are in the Crocodile's mouth.. haha!
(I have not coloured them, waiting for THE DAY he could do proper colouring, then I do not have to buy too many colouring books eh)

Back to drawing.. and so I drew C is for CROWN!

Past Lessons:

You can also follow IZ's Lernen-Reise on Facebook for more personal and up-to-date learning fun