Thursday, 26 June 2014

Talking back...

There was a phase when IZ liked to say "I don't like you, go away". I didn't know what to do. I was the one he said to, the most then. It was hurtful, but I know he didn't mean it that way. And then I had to be away for a business trip (after not traveling for some time), and he stopped telling me that. For fear I would go and never come back I presume.

Then he randomly said that to his grandma and also helper.

I read up about handling this phase and I took both gentle and hard approach.

I told him I understand when he said that, he actually didn't like what they asked or told him to do. He actually didn't mean them personally. He nodded.

I reasoned: "But, in my house, at my home, everyone has to like everybody. If I ever heard anybody said he or she doesn't like anybody, that person who said that would have to leave this house. Since you do not like grandma or helper, you should walk out, I'll open the door for you."

Since then, the frequency reduced and eventually stopped altogether, and he took on to saying specifically what he didn't like about.

"I don't like it when you say that to me, that's not nice!" he would go.

So it worked.

Last night while we were having dinner, he was upset over something and was frowning and throwing tantrum to the helper.

"IZ, your face doesn't look good. I know you are upset, but I don't like the way your face show it. It's ugly and I don't like the way you talk."

He replied "then you should go out" and pointed to the door.

So, he talked back eh? I was laughing deep down inside! I got my own medicine?

Not admitting defeat, I told him, "I didn't say I don't like you, I'm saying the face is not nice. It's not a happy thing to be upset over something so trivial. There's way to resolve it."

Way to go, my dear son.


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